I cannot find my penis.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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