I wish i was in the wii world.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
