i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
