one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
