I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
