I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize