I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize