The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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