my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
