When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
