Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
