He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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