i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
