VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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