Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just forgot I was standing up.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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