we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
