If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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