at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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