U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
