why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
