next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
