Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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