Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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