Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize