How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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