her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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