i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
