Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
