Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
