Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am never drinking with the goths again.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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