I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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