My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
