I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
