I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize