You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
