Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize