i don't like sucking hair
Soap is not a condiment
babies were throwing up all over the place
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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