Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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