OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
