sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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