your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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