he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
