I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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