I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
