bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize