Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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