you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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