there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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