the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
