either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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