i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
