areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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