whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
