let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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