After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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